Chasing joy across the country

So, yeah. I guess it’s been a while. For a long while I tried to tell myself that I fell off the blogging bandwagon because life got busy. Honestly, I stopped because it was hard to write posts that showed the darkness I was experiencing. I guess I’m kind of like my dogs, they don’t show it when they are hurting, it makes them vulnerable. So, what was hurting me? I placed a lot of weight on what others think. And I was putting others expectations in front of my own. The area in my life that this was most prevalent was work. Work has always been a big part of my life, I used my position and pay scale as part of my identity. It’s hard to not make your work a big part of who you are. It’s 1/3 of your day after all. But, what if you are miserable in that job? I hit a moment of clarity after a 96 hour work week including a 20 hour work day. I realized that I was barely surviving life and making my life decisions based on what I thought other people wanted or expected of me.  It occurred to me that if those people were the kind of people I want in my life, then their only expectation of me should be for me to be happy. I left my job the next day. That was 6 months ago.

Since then, I have moved across the country to Jacksonville, Florida with Beast. And, I have taken a job as a trapeze instructor. I miss my friends and family in San Diego, but I am really enjoying my new life. I look forward to going to work, in fact I love my job at Trapeze High Florida. I have been fortunate enough to be able to focus my time here on chasing joy. I have been doing a lot of flying, working at the rig, and focusing on getting healthy, emotionally and physically. I have days (like today) where I want to lay on the couch like a zombie, but those are coming less often. I am very lucky to have Beast who is supportive and pushy. He wants the trapeze school to be a success so that I can continue to do what I love. He is happy when I tear up while telling him that I love my job. He has made a lot of sacrifices for me to have the life I have, so have I. I guess no one said being happy is easy, but I think it’s worth it.

I will be posting with more regularity, with my new life, I have a lot to say. Expect pictures, recipes, and general babbling. It’s good to be back!

One thought on “Chasing joy across the country

  1. Hey Jen thanks for the update and I am sorry to hear about the struggle you have gone through. I am happy you have this new life and that you seem to be happy. You might not even know I had this blog. Well I have had it for years and I have used it to follow how you are doing. But as you know it has been pretty slow over the years. This kept me from staying in touch. Then today while on duty I went through my bookmarks and I clicked on your blog. I was surprised and happy to see there was some updates. We haven’t kept in touch but you still come across my mind and I wonder what you are up to. I have looked around to see if you are in town or ever to see if you are on Facebook. Nothing found so this is why I was happy to see your post. Well Jen, I am glad to hear you are doing well and I pray this continues. Crazy to think you’re in Florida. Ya and your trapeze stuff is cool. You always enjoyed the gymnastics so this seems to be right up your alley. Well Jen keep you focus up, stand strong and continue staying real. You will always have a friend in San Diego that is thinking of you. Your friend Robert

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