I was taught to add by two important people in my life. The first was Mrs. Rasmussen, my first grade teacher. I honestly don’t remember much about her and her teaching style. I remember her salt and pepper hair. I also remember that we used objects, like apples, to demonstrate how to add. As with most subjects in school, after learning the basics, the concept stuck and I never had much trouble with math after that. I used basic adding and subtracting in my life without thinking much about it. At least I thought I was using it.
When I was 31, Beast taught me how to add again. He taught me how that basic math that I learned when I was 6 could, or more accurately SHOULD, be applied in relationships. In any type of relationship there are 2 people who interact. All of those interactions are like deposits and withdrawals in a bank account. The good things are deposits and the bad are withdrawals. Obviously for a relationship to be successful, that account should be in the black, not the red. However, we are complicated people with lives full of stress and busy schedules. We make mistakes that may be small withdrawls or large ones. Sometimes it can be a while before we make our next deposit. Maybe a small fee will incur for neglect, but as long as we are not making many or large withdrawals, the account should be stable.
So often in this world we walk around with the attitude of “What have you done for me lately?” We lose sight of all the wonderful things the relationship is built on because we are not getting the attention we believe we deserve or we felt we were done wrong. Often times we throw away a relationship that we shouldn’t or we keep one that should be tossed. If you apply the math, you should know always know where the relationship stands. Is the debt, not recoverable, or is it just a small hit to the bottom line? This system makes a relationship less complicated. I know what I value in a relationship and I let others know what I value. They also know what things have a negative value. If a relationship is often in the red, it is time to walk away. And, of course, if the account is usually in good standing, it’s a keeper. And, when I meet someone who cannot add, I know to keep on walking if possible. If not, I know to be careful to protect myself.
Do you use math in your relationships? Tell me what works for you.